Interveiw with the Autobots
by Storm Blue Lightning Saix
Summary: New title and new chapter add. Now with even more randomness and Autobot torturing so please drink responsibly. Satisfaction guaranteed or you're money back. All thoughs and complaints glady accepted. Okay I'll shut now...
1. Hotshot

Tori: Hey ya I was bored and wanted to write this so sorry if it's pointless!

Megatron: Every thing you do is pointles, except when you torture the Autobots

Tori: Read and reveiw!

Declaimer: Tori does not own transformers or any other anime present in this fic

* * *

Storm: Hello people, this interview is currently based inside a time rift that connects the timelinesof all the transformers series and a few other choice animes. Allowing anyone and everythingfromsaid timelines towarp here from anytime, anywhere. Now, lets get on with the interveiw, first off doI'llHotshot since he's a fan favorite. So everyone welcome Hotshot!

Hotshot: (warps in out of the Armada era and waves to the crowd. Upon seeing Storm he starts to get nervous)

Storm: What's the matterHotshot, afraid thatI might torture you? (evil grin)

Hotshot: Yes, why wouldn'tI be? You're always on a sugar high and you're sadistic!

Storm: Sugar high yes, sadistic no that title belongs to my editor Jessica

Hotshot: (sits down in a transformer sized chair that warped in from a random timeline) you mean the one with the cursed Bayblade?

Storm:Yep thats the one and I'll sic the Bayblade on you if you don't do as I say

Hotshot: (freaks out) ok, ok! I'll do it!

Storm: Good now first question. Do you like Sideswipe as _more_ then a brother?

Hotshot: (wide eyed) why the slag would you ask me that?

Storm: Oh, so you do!

Hotshot: NO YOU DAMENTED BITCH HE'S JUST A FRIEND THAT'S IT!

Storm: NOONE CALLS ME A BITCH! (grabs Bayblade out of her pocket and loads it on her launcher then shoots it at Hotshot's head)

Hotshot: (dodges it) HA! ya messed!

Strom: (evil smirk)

Unnoticed by Hotshot the Bayblade beguns to glow purple.He turns around slowly only to find that the Bayblade had grown in size andshape of a wolf. Hotshot attempts to run away but is grabbed from behinde by grappling arms attached to the roof.

Hotshot: Oh, crap!

The purple light finishes growing and turns into a huge black wolf. Tori walks over to the wolf and gives it a pat on the nose.

Tori: Good to see you again

Wolf: Grrrraaawwlllll? good to see you too, now who do I get to mawl this time?>

Tori: (points to Hotshot) he's the victim, have at 'em!

Wolf: snarl! gladly!> (tears Hotshot limb, from limb)

Hotshot: AHHHHHHGGGAAHH!

Tori: (winces) well sorry to cut this short but I really don't want to be here when the fan girls come to peel what's left of Hotshot off the roof, so see ya! (warps off stage)

Hotshot: WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

Tori: (sticks head out of warp hole) sorry Hotshot the fan girls should be here a soon as I turn off the fan proof warpdrive (presses button on the wall abd the bases red arua turns off. Outside faint be girlish screams can be heard) Okay, wolf back in the Bayblade!

Wolf:(gets back in the Bayblade and warps out leaving Hotshot todeal with his fans)

* * *

Tori: Yeah! I loved doing that! sorry to all the fans (puts up flame proof shield)

Mrgatron: I loved watching it! (walks under flame proof shield) read and reveiw


	2. Red Alert

Tori: Hey ya every body heres chapter 2 were we get to torture Reddy!

Optimus: Better not do to mutch harm to him he is our medic after all

Tori: Yeah yeah yeah let just get on with the torturing, er in mean interview!

Optimus: (sweatdrop) fine Tori, does not own the transformers or any other show that might be featured

Tori: And the wolf bit beast was a gift from my friend and editor Jessica!

Tori: oh and this : means a translation for what Wolf says just so you know!

* * *

Tori: Hello and welcome back to interview with the transformers. Next on our list of victims, er I mean interviewees is...(looks at clipboard that warps in out her room) Red Alert!

Crowd cheers as said medic warps in and sits in randomly warped chair

Red Alert: Hello Tori

Tori: Hey Red did Hotshot make back to the base alright?

Red Alert: (sighs) yes he did, but it took 5 gallons of fan girl repellant to get rid of all the fans

Tori: heh, sorry about that anyways lets get on with the first question (looks at clipboard) why did you decide to become a medic?

Red: Well it was a childhood dream of mine so I took some early courses in the academy, eventually got noticed and ended up here

Tori: Wow, so you planned ahead for this didn't you?

Red: You can say that

Tori: did you fail any of you're courses?

Red: Yes I did, quit a few actually

Tori: Really? 0.o well then there's hope for me yet!

Red: What do you mean?

Tori: Well, you see (shifty eyes) I what to be a game developer when I'm older so I signed up for a programing class and sort of failed it (groans)

Red: You just have to keep on trying

Tori: I well but don't expect me to be working for Konami any time soon (looks at clipboard) ok two more questions then you can go. What happened to you're hand?

Red: It was badly injured and had to get it replaced

Tori: But why with a gun? (points at gun)

Red: Because it's more convenient for my job

Tori: Oh, I get it so it can be used as an anal probe (sniggers)

Red: (sweatdrops) you watched that Robot Chicken show didn't you?

Tori: (nods) :)

Red: Ok I'm out of here gotta check on Hotshot (tries to walk out but is grabbed by grappling arms and thrown back into the chair)

Tori: Not until I say so Reddy!

Red: o.0 what are you going to do?

Tori: Oh, I'm just going to feed you to Jessica's bit beast like I did Hotshot 0-:)

Red: No, no! Anything but that!

Tori: Just kidding! Not! (Pulls out Bayblade and places it on ground and watches as it turns into a wolf)

Wolf: Snarl, grrrr (Licks lips) :yeah, yummy food:

Red: NO! HELP PLZ!

Tori: TeeHee!

Wolf: (tears Red apart) grrrr, snarl howlll! pant pant :ah, now that was refreshing! Now to take a nap: (goes in Bayblade and warps back to Tori's room)

Tori: Thats all folks until next time! (Turns off fan proof warp drive so Red's fans can confiscate him)

* * *

Tori: Wheeee! that was fun wasn't it Megs 

Megatron: (was in the crowd theentire time recording the whole thing with a _barrowed_ Laserbeak) indeed, i can use this for blackmail

Tori: are you making copies? how much you what for two?

Megatron: (smirks) yes, and 20 credit disks for two copies

Tori: Deal! (hands over disks and Megs hands over tapes)

Megatron: What's the second copy for?

Tori: (smiles) Jessica

Megatron: (grins) oh, you are good


	3. Optimus Prime

Tori: Yay! another chappie!

Megatron: Oh, joy...

Tori: (kicks him in the foot)

Megatron: Ouch! why you! (rans after her)

Tori: Read and review! (rans away to avoid being turned into a pancake)

* * *

Storm: (walks up on stage and waves to the audience) hello! And welcome to "interview with the transformers!" (Audience claps) ok (clipboard appears in her hand) the next 'bot is (checks clipboard)...uh, oh Optimus Prime i hope he's not too mad...well we all know that i can't tortue him or the whole army will have my ugly mug on wanted posters. so lets bring him in.

Optimus: (walks up on stage and glares down at Tori)

Tori: (gets down on knees and begs) I'm soooo sorry,I was hyper and couldn't help but torture Red! (makes big puppy dog eyes)

Optimus: (sighs) I'm not going topunish,I can't hurt a human. ButI am _very_ disappointed in you.

Tori: (clings to OP's leg and sobs) I'm sorryplease don't be disappointed, you sound too much like my dad!

Optimus: (pries her off his leg and sets her down on the near by couch) fine, as long as you help fan proof the base

Tori: (grins) deal! now, on with the interview! (checks board) first question, what's it like being the leader of the Autobots?

Optimus: In a word, stressful

Tori: Really?

Optimus: (nodds slowly) how would you like to play referee to a bunch of rough housing bots?

Tori: (sweatdrops) good point...next question! how long have you've been the leader of the Autobots and who was leader before you?

Optimus: About 8.2 million years and Sentinel Prime was leader before me.

Tori: 0.o (a seemingly randombook warps in from her room into her hands)

Optimus: Huh?

Tori: (flips thourgh the pages, stopping on one she carefully reads it then looks up at OP with an emotionless face) yep. (closes book) you're right.

Optimus: What makes you think thatI was wrong?

Tori: (holds up the book with the cover facing OP. It reads Transformers Ultimate Guide Book) this.

Optimus: (leans forward to get a closer look) were did you get this?

Tori: At a book store (puts the book on her lap)

Optimus: Let me see (Tori hands himthe bookbut it's too small for him to read)

Tori: Hold on (takes book behind stage. A strange zapping noise is heardbefore Toricomes outdraggingthe book with her only nowit's_much _bigger) now read you can read it.

Optimus: (picks up the giant book) how did you do that?

Tori: Just an enlargment rayI invented :)

Optimus: (raises an optis ridge but reads the now-transformer-sized book anyway)

Tori: Well?

Optimus: (stops reading and looks at her) slag...how did the humams get a hold ofthis much info on us?

Tori: (shrugs)

Optimus: You didn't hack into Vector Sigma did you?

Tori: NO! i couldn't hack that thing even if i wanted to! (shifty eyes)

Optimus: (deadpan) you're lying

Tori: OK! (turns to the audience) that's it for this show (waves) see ya until next chappie! (quickly grabsher book from OP's handthen sits it on the ground asit returns to normal size and warps away)

Optimus: You did, didn't you!

Tori: AGHHH! (switches off the fan proof shield and runs for her life)

Optimus:GET BACK HERE!(runs after her)

* * *

Tori: (walks over dragging a stasis locked Megatron trapped in an electro-netbehind her) oh, heyI finallymanaged to get away from Megs as you cansee (holds up net)so please review:) 


	4. Scavenger

Tori: Hello and welcome to yet another Chapter

Megatron: Primus this is pointless

Tori: Yes i know

Declaimer: Tori does not own Transformers or any other anime

* * *

Out of nowhere a vid-screen mountedon a pair of trackrolls onto the stage. The monitor flickers to life,showing the imageof amildly annoyedTori.

Tori: Hello everyone if you're wondering why i'm not here in person it's because i'vebeen arrested for hacking intoVictor Sigma. But thankfully OP allowed me to continue my interviewsvia this moble vid-screen. So with out anyfarther delays lets all welcome my second favorite transformer, Scavenger!

The crowd claps as the green and purple Autobot warps onto the stage and sits down in a chair

Scavenger: So...You got you're self arrested huh?

Tori: (deadpan) yep, andI won't be out for a while. So anyways, were you first sparked as a D-con are a Bot?

Scavenger: OriginallyI was a Decepticon butI got bored and joined the Autobots

Tori: (nodds thoughtfully) interesting...So if you've been a Bot this whole time then what was with the mercenary act?

Scavenger: (shrugs) it was to fool Megatron into thinking thatI was on his side soI could be trusted with the informationI needed for the Autobots.

Tori: I see...Now how did you manage you're cover if you reveiled to Megatron that you taught Optimus Primehow to fight. If that was true then that means you were an Autobot at some point, right?

Scavenger: (rubs chin) hmmm, never really thought about that. I guess that Megs never took that into consideration.

Tori: Now how about that habit of falling asleep in the middle of training Hotshot. Wouldn't that ruin you're tough guy rep?

Scavenger: I get bored easily and when i'm boredI sleep. AndI really don't care what other people think of me.

Tori: (noddes in agreement) same here. Well that's all you're free to go.

Scavenger: (raises an optic ridge) you're not going to ask for bail?

Tori: (shakes head) tried that. OP woun't let me.

Scvenger: Ah, I see. Well good luck I'll see you when Optimus lets you out (warps off stage)

Tori: Well there you have it folks.Mymost civilized interview to date. (a voice on Tori's end of the vid-screen calls out and she sighs) visiting hours are over so that's it for this show, see you next time and hopefully noton a vid-screen. Good bye! (waves)

With that the vid-screen flickers off and rolls of stage.

* * *

Tori: Well, that was good and simple

Megatron: But you didn't torture any one

Tori: I was in jail Megs

Megatron: And it wasabout time someone arrested you

Tori: (sweatdrops) oh, shut up...

Megatron: Review and she _might_ get out of jail. If not, oh well


	5. Smokescreen

Tori: (bows lowly) i'm _so_ sorry this chapter was so late. School has started and updates have been slow so please forgive me. Anyways this chapter features a small cameo, so i hope that it'll make it up to all of you since i was busy being a teenager. As for the disclaimer; I do not own the transformers, however the cameo belongs to me. That is all, hope you enjoy the show!

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Tori: Hello people I'm _finally_ out of jail! and that is thanks to all the reviews I've gotten. (clears throat) anyways lets welcome our next interviewee...Smokescreen!

(crowd cheers but no fan girls are heard trying to push down the shield)

Tori: Hmmm, guess that you don't have many fan eh?

Smokescreen: (sighs sadly) guess not...

Tori: Well it's a good thing because I have something that might cheer you up (pulls out a shrink ray)

Smokey: (panics) wait! why are you aiming that thing at me?

Tori: (from behind the controls) because I don't want you stepping on them

Smokey: Who's _them_?

Tori: (smirks) you'll see (zaps the helpless crane until he's the size a an average sized human)

Smokey: (blinks) it's over? where's them?

Tori: (claps hands) come here girls!

(From behind the stage two dachshund puppies run up and began to bark and jump around cutely. the crowd 'awwww's')

Tori: The brown fluffy one is Hazel and the tan stocky one is Lucy. Nice little surprise don't you think?

Smokey: Awww! (picks Hazel and gets licked in the face) how can I say no to them? (chuckles)

Tori: (grins slyly) you have no idea

Smokey: What was that?

Tori: Nothing, nothing (smiles) now on to the questions! (grabs clipboard)

Smokey: (puts Hazel down and watches at the puppies play fight)

Tori: (bops the crane on the head with a pen) Smokey pay attention please.

Smokey: Oh, yes please continue.

Tori: First question; why is you're name Smokescreen? I mean it's awfully ironic for an orange crane bot who sticks out like a sore thumb. No offence big guy.

Smokey: (waves it off) I guess that Hasbro was just too lazy to come up with new names and just started reusing them. And besides Armada was rushed so there's a lot of production errors.

Tori: (dead pan) yes, that would answer my question now wouldn't it (sighs) okay next...what was it like to die?

Smokey: (he freezes for a moment not sure if he could really describe what he had experienced) it's not fun I can tell you that much.

Tori: (thinks) I bet, but tell me more.

Smokey: I'm not sure if a can...

Tori: Oh, come on!

Smokey: (glares) it's a sensitive subject okay?

Tori: (huffs) fine (perks up) now with all the questions are over... (cackles)

Smokey: (backs away slowly) oh, no! Please don't! Not that! NOOOO!

Tori: Yeeeesss! My hell spawn you're feast is ripe for the pickings!

(Both puppies stop playing and look at Smokescreen with evil flashing in their glassy eyes. They mutate into horrid monsters with fangs and claws shining cruelly in the dimly lit lights of the stage. Without warning the hell hounds charge at the orange transformer, said bot is quickly pinned down, making his struggling futile)

Tori: (throws her arm in the air for dramatic effect) feast! My hell spawn feast until you black hearts are content! (Cackles evilly)

(Smokescreen's pleas turn into out right screams as the not so cute puppies start eating at his wiring. Optimus Prime suddenly jumps out from behind the heavy curtain and glares at Tori as she preaches to the ceiling)

Optimus: what have I told you about torturing my men?

Tori: (stops and stares wide eyed at the _very_ pissed off and over protective leader) run my minions, RUN! We must not be caught, we have to abandon the feast!

(both dogs stop and transform back to their cute cuddly puppy forms and bolt out the nearest exit. Smokescreen although weak still manages to squeeze out a vulgar word or two at the demented hostess and her dogs)

Tori: (she runs outside the building and there is nothing around except empty space where a world might be. Hazel and Lucy stop at their masters heels and pants) well sorry about that folks (pants) at least I didn't get arrested this time (waves) bye now until next time! (Puppies bark a good bye and all three warp away)

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Tori: (sighs) and there you go. Again i'm sorry for this chapter's late update. If you havn't figured it out by now, the camoes were my puppies Hazel and Lucy. No they are not hell hounds, thats just me and my demented self. And last but not least, thank you to all the great reviews i've recived. That's all I have to say for now so please leave me a nice shiny review before you go!


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